chemaccino good, but not good for you

Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Joe: ...what I DO wonder about is how the choice will be made about who ascends, and when. I mean, will we be taken before everyone has to retreat into the woods, or will it be later, when we all come back out of hiding?
Mary: Right, I wonder about who would go, too. Would it be only the true believers? And how is that decided? What about people who believe in God, but aren't Christian? Is it enough just to believe in the One God?

Okay, I gotta tell you, if there's one thing that makes me mentally catalogue my transgressions, it's a discussion about the Rapture. I'm pretty sure I'm not one of the Chosen, unless my Confirmation when I was 13 grants me a Get Out Of Hell Free card. Although, it's not really Hell, is it. It's Limbo, or just the punishment of staying on Earth. Or something. Oh, crap, I am so screwed.
apocalypse ...when? (part 2)

Joe: I figure it'll probably be some time in the next four or five years... possibly not for up to 15 years, though.
Mary: What interests me is HOW the skies will turn red. Like, will it be from pollution, or bombs, or what?
Joe: Yeah, yeah, that's true. I think it might just, you know, HAPPEN. Anyway, so after that, we enter these 10 years of all living in the woods, and there's a lot of people who aren't prepared for that. I think my family will do well with that; my wife and I are trained in survival skills...
Mary: I also think that people are more ready for those ten years than they think they are -- there are a lot of survival skills that will come out in people, I think. But I wonder what will happen after those 10 years. Will we all come back to the cities?

Yes. That's right. They were talking about the coming Apocalypse. You think I am making this up, and I wish I were. I was actually present at the time, and what disturbs me about this conversation is that it was several weeks ago, and it still haunts me. "How are MY survival skills?" I think to myself. "Where would I go?"
apocalypse....when? (part 1)

Friday, April 25, 2003
chronicles of a mentwhore
So, I've been showing the replacement temp (a temp for the temp!) how to do stuff around here. Hmmm, actually, I've been showing her how to do stuff, period.

First Question of the Day:
Is there coffee?"

On Writing Correspondence:
How did you make that double-spaced? Can you show me how you did that?
Okay, so you're saying that whenever I want to save a document that's a letter, I should save it in the file called "Letters 2003"? Are you sure?

On General Computer Use:
Oh, yes, I know my way around Windows 2000.
Windows Explorer? What's that?
Let me write this all down: Click on "Start"....go up to "Programs" .... then across to "Microsoft Office".... then click on the words "Microsoft Outlook". That's a lot to remember!

On Misc. Administrative Topics:
So, "Facsimile" is the same as "Fax"?

These are all fair questions, I am sure. And I can't wait to show her the Excel Workbook she'll be working in daily this afternoon. I will need more coffee.
In case you think this is some little 18-year-old ingénue, think again. This is a recently-downsized 40-something woman with a long-standing career in recruiting and customer service.
Who is baffled by Format... Paragraph.
This makes me reflect on my own worth as an admin whore. I suspect, perhaps, that I am premium goods. Should I ask for a raise? I mean, based on what I'm seeing here today, maybe I should. Or maybe I should just be grateful that I get to work at all.

Thursday, April 24, 2003
...because we want to start selling in Iraq....
oh, ha-ha, I mean Iran; do you have that information?
....yes, well, thank you, we just want to have all our ducks in a row....

Ducks like which country. Good to know we in the endless cube-farms of the USA are still getting Iran and Iraq confused. Just like the good ol' days. Does this signal a Return To Normalcy, perhaps?

Blort is really ON today; I'd like to reprint all their links, but just go to their page.

what other places have been linking to lately... or will be soon

*More about the minors in Guantanamo
*News Item: The Dog That Wouldn't Die
*The popularity of Pabst Blue Ribbon
*The Prime Number Shitting Bear
*The Cat Stuck To A Fan Video
*Very Secret Diaries of The Fellowship
*Hello Jesus and My Magdalene
*Learn English

Wednesday, April 23, 2003
OVERHEARD (about me)
...yeah, no, she's doing fine here...
...yeah, the only problem she's had is reading the president's handwriting... ...yeah...everyone has trouble with his handwriting, you just have to get used to it...
..yeah, she's good with all the computer programs...
How fast does she type? Oh, I don't know, but I hear her typing sometimes and it seems fast...
...oh, yes, very professional...

My ears, they burn. Why she didn't close her door for that conversation with the temp agency, I just don't know. Maybe she wanted me to hear. V. flattering.
Even more crazy fun in the world of temping is coming at me this Friday, when Office Pimp is sending my replacement (for next week, when I'm away) a day early, so I can show her (99% are "her"s) the Way Things Work. This means that Office Pimp gets double the dough. Sly dogs. I am looking forward to it: a ho-in-training. I am now a mentwhore.
The Freshmaker!

The street where I work

Where the street where I work meets the main road
there is a UPS drop-off box and a FedEx drop-off box
next to each other
not facing the same way, but
not back to back.
They stand flush to each other,
though not actually touching.
An awkward relationship:
they both have to be there,
in the same workplace
and they are both trying to show that they don't care
whether or not the other is there
so they dare not turn away completely
and they dare not face the road together.

On the other side of the road,
the US Mail and US Priority Mail drop-offs
they know or think they know
but don't care as much as you might think...
they are much more interested in each other.

Where the street where I work meets the main road
there is a UPS drop-off box and a FedEx drop-off box
both with 5:30pm pick-up times.
Do the mail carriers meet, do you think?
Are they pals?
Do they smile at each other when they arrive at the same moment?
Do they meet up at many other drop-off boxes on their route?
Do they go out for drinks together after work?
Maybe they are dating each other.

Maybe they were dating each other
but it didn't work out
and they are both trying to show that they don't care
whether or not the other is there
but they still have to meet each other
every day at 5:30pm
where the street where I work meets the main road.

I am so not getting over this any time soon.

I have to make travel arrangements for someone to fly from Boston to Amman, Jordan. Ignore for a moment the obvious question (Why? Why fly to Jordan?), and hear this: most of these flights involve a 10 hour layover. Insult to injury. Isn't it bad enough to be flying to Jordan without having to sit around Heathrow for ten hours? In other news, no ten hour layover on the return flight.