And sometimes, the bear gets you.

#1 I still cannot fit into any of my khaki pants (aka chinos) that I used to wear, so I finally tried on the pair that I had put aside after my diet a few years back.
It fit, which is
good because I had something to wear to work besides black pants, but
bad because ...well, if I have to tell you, man, you'll never know. Or something.
oh, also bad because I bought them in 1999, and for those of you who have forgotten (and how quickly we do!), that was the year The Gap made khakis incredibly popular, but it was a year before the inventions of the 'plain front' or 'women's straight leg trouser'. So I spent the day sporting a pleated front and tapered leg.

#2 Beau called this evening to let me know he was going to grab dinner and a beer with a female coworker. He did not invite me and he's not home yet. It's not that I'm the jealous type, it's just that ...maybe I should be.

#3 My after-work attempt to purchase some non-heinous spring pants this afternoon was utterly unfruitful. It was only good inasomuch as it was better than yesterday's shopping, when I lost my sunglasses in a store (why weren't they on the floor or something when I went back to look for them? People steal a lot, don't they?) and didn't find any pants then, either.

*sigh*
posted by JJ at 11:26 PM
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After Day 11
My right ear is still all cloggy or whatev, and at the dr's office this morning, the nurse practitioner basically told me to keep doing what I'm doing. She suggested some alternatives to Sudafed, because the 'fed messes me up, but the basic principle is to dry up whatever's in there. The good news is that the low-grade antibiotic my dermatologist prescribed last week will already take care of any possible ear infection.
So I got that going for me,
which is nice.

Other world-rocking headlines from my day:

Nurse Practitioner pregnant!

Stoned At Work: The Hidden Dangers of 'Non-Drowsy' Sudafed

Groom-To-Be Clears Dishes; Scrubs Stovetop

Sister's Weekend Phone Call Continues To Go Unreturned

Holy Crap: Over $2000 charged on this month's Visa statement.

How Messy Is Too Messy? An apartment on the brink.

Mother-In-Law-To-Be Claims Friend Declared Registy Too Boring And Limited.

Self-Applied Fake Tanner Leaves Streaks; Nobody Notices

Wow, More Credit Card Offers!
posted by JJ at 11:29 PM
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What? I can't hear you, I have a Mini-Mag in my ear.
My right ear hasn't popped since last week's flight.
I called the 24hr nurse hotline for tips to help it clear. Here are the suggestions:

DO
...Keep trying to blow it out (hold nose, etc)
...Take anti-inflammatories like ibuprophen
...Try decongestants like Sudafed
...Apply heat
...Call back on Day 11 if it's still stopped up

DON'T
...Get it wet
...Change altitudes

As the old Saturday Morning Cartoon Infotainment used to say, Knowledge is power, and/or half the battle. So, these are my goals. That and some spring cleaning.
posted by JJ at 12:13 PM
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Vegas, baby.
Why would anyone live-blog from Las Vegas? I mean, that would indicate a severe lack of imagination or go-getter-ism or something. Anyway, I learned one important lesson during my weekend on The Strip: Second-hand smoke nauseates me.

Yes, it's pathetic how delicate my system is. Within thirty minutes or less upon entering an indoor smoking-permitted facility (read: "casino"), I was physically ill. Luckily, this nausea was not incapacitating; it was just like having a hangover that never clears up. Also luckily, my travel included some fresh air and some places that weren't smoke-saturated. Hooray! Good times were had!

Over the course of the weekend, I tried different ways of coping with the casino-induced-nausea, based on my standard hangover treatments. First, I tried lying in bed to see if it would clear up. The next day, I tried eating a lot, which sometimes works on my hangovers, especially if it leads to a big poop. By that evening, I decided to turn to the hair of the dog. Perhaps I could drink away the nausea? At first this seemed to work; after a drink or two, it seemed to be clearing up. So I figured, maybe more drinks would be better? So I shared a flight of vodka with a friend.
This.
Was a tactical error.
Enter: new type of nausea.

Luckily, this was a familiar breed that was efficiently medicated with mac-and-cheese. I had ordered a turkey burger, but Beau (brilliant man!) had ordered mac-and-cheese. I think he got in a few bites of it, too.

Oh, actually, there's a second lesson I learned: Cranberry juice is a good chaser for a flight of vodka.

In conclusion: I had fun, you had fun, there were no unscheduled weddings, and the weather cooperated.
posted by JJ at 1:54 PM
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Cuts like a blog
This past weekend, helping my mother arrange the multitude of flowers she and my father bought for the engagement party, I cut my finger.
OK, you're thinking, whatever. But here's the thing: I sliced the tip with the ends of the scissors. Who does that? That is the stupidest thing ever. I mean, I always wondered why little kids' safety scissors had those big blunt ends; apparently, for dumbasses like me.

A few nights later, driving home from a friend's house, I noticed I had cuts on the pads of both thumbs. The hell? The only possible explanation I could figure was the plastic lids to the soy sauce of the take-out sushi. Somehow, I must have cut my thumbs in the prying-off process.

Last night was the trial run of self-tanner foam. Coppertone Sunless Tanner Foam in Light/Medium, to be precise. Today, the finger cut from the scissors has a nice tan outline to it. As for the rest of the tan, it looks great everywhere where it was evenly applied. Let's leave it at that; there's a reason there's a trial run.
posted by JJ at 8:18 PM
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Apparently, this blog is now titled: "Cannot find server"
...and I can't read the comments. So. Umm, thanks for all the fish?

It's just -uninspiring- to try to read one's own blog and find that one cannot load it up correctly. If I can't read my words, who, then? No, don't answer; it's the comments that are really screwed.

But I'll probably put up a post anyway, so I can procrastinate my packing.
Packing for what, you ask? For the weekend. I leave town almost every weekend these days. If it's not for one thing, it's for another.
posted by JJ at 7:13 PM
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Hee.
hee hee.




Might I add, this is an actual news item.
posted by JJ at 12:31 PM
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April Fool Roundup
In honor of the prankity nature of the day, here are some prankity links.
Google Gulp - Intelligently delicious
Not Boing Boing
The 2005 Hostile Takeover of Wikipedia
Homestarrunner Payplus!

These few came to my attention, but I actually other stuff to do today besides trolling the web for pranks. This person, however, is updating every 2 minutes all day, if you haven't had enough. Found via MeFi.
posted by JJ at 9:23 AM
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