chemaccino good, but not good for you

Wednesday, August 31, 2005
 
How You Can Help


Monday, August 29, 2005
 
11 Moments I'll Always Remember
In the armchair in the den, watching He-Man
A summer afternoon on the grassy hill by the driveway
After school, in front of the garage door
On the street by the driveway, in the cool moonlight and magic of Halloween
In the parking lot of the garden center
Three AM in the bathtub at a friend's house during a mid-winter going-away party
In a tent at a conservation-awareness weekend festival
The warm sunny day in the grass outside the front door of our house
A weekend morning on the phone in the hallway of my apartment
The highway, the embankment, the traffic, the car behind me
The chilly evening in the doorway of a holiday-decorated dry cleaner's


 
Ah, CNN. Always a ray of sunshine.
Louisiana evacuees should stay away for at least a week to avoid "a wilderness" without power or drinking water that will be infested with poisonous snakes and fire ants...
Yes, if the hurricane winds and flooding don't get you, the snakes and ants will. Thanks, CNN.


Wednesday, August 24, 2005
 
Remember that one with the retouching?
As some ofyou might recall, I am an unrepentant fan of Tyra's model show. You know the one. One of my favorite episodes is the one where they show how much retouching the photos need. Now, thanks to a link on MetaFilter, you can see it on a bunch of ladies.
Watch! as the camera adds ten pounds... to their boobs and butts!
Marvel! at the way cellulite and small rolls of fat just melt away!
Be Ye Not Afraid! as armpits are eradicated!

This site made me feel better about my body. I see now that I am, along with every one I know, star quality, if only with the right retouching.


 
11 Companies That I Think Should Pay For The Advertising, However Nominal, That They Are Getting From My Wedding - Listed Alphabetically

Birchcraft Studios
Brooks Brothers
Crate and Barrel
Cuisinart
David's Bridal
Macy*s
Mikasa
Tiffany
Waterford
Wedgwood
Wusthof


Tuesday, August 23, 2005
 
11 CDs Recently Played
Norah Jones, Feels Like Home
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Indigo Girls, Nomads Indians Saints
Frank Sinatra, Classic Sinatra
Beach Boys, Sights and Sounds of Summer
Sarah McLaughlin, Fumbling Toward Ecstasy
Cocktail Mix, vol.2, Martini Madness
Dave Matthews Band, Under the Table and Dreaming
Sheryl Crow, C'mon, C'mon
George Michael, Faith
Rusted Root, When I Woke


Saturday, August 20, 2005
 
11 Dates, 1990-1996, listed chronologically by a memorable factoid about the date or the guy
First kiss
Ice-skating date on the pond in his backyard
He actually wore a bandana around his forehead all the time, like Willie Nelson or Rambo or something. Why? WHY?
Junior prom date
Drove nice cars. Yeah, you read that right. Cars.
In my defense, I didn't know this was a date until he made a move. Since when is Brazil a date movie?
Loved watching Letterman
A trip into town to check out that new coffee place everyone's talking about, 'Star'something. Except it wasn't open, so we got pizza instead.
A real date! in a restaurant! and he paid! Come on, that's a big deal in college.
Harrassing pedestrians with a laser pointer.
The first guy to cook me dinner


Friday, August 19, 2005
 
Uh Oh.
Is it a sign that I'm getting old when I find myself increasing the text size of webpages? I wish I could blame it on the screen of my new computer, but I've found myself doing this at work lately, too. It's no that I can't read it, it just seems like a bit of a strain. Oh, I feel elderly. Maybe my registry should include one of those big magnifying glasses my great-grandmother used to have.


 
11 Toiletries I've Liked Enough That I've Had To Buy More When I Ran Out
Oil of Olay All Day UV Defense Moisture Lotion with SPF 15
Burt's Beeswax, Lifeguard's Choice Weatherproofing Lip Balm
Cover Girl Clean Look Oil Control foundation in Natural Ivory
Sally Hansen Daily Lip Moisturizer
Aveeno Positively Smooth Shave Gel
Jane Nail Polish in Hazing
Clinique Happy lotion
John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Shampoo Amber to Maple
Maybelline Quads in Designer Chocolates
Cover Girl Liquid Pencil in Black Brown
Softlips lip protectant in Cool Cherry


Thursday, August 18, 2005
 
11 Towns/Cities Where I've Worked For a Month or More
Bedford
Beverly
Boston
New Canaan
Parkton
Providence
Rowley
Stamford
Waltham
Wellesley
Yonkers


Wednesday, August 17, 2005
 
This List Goes To You-Know-What
I'm going to try a new blog project: 11 lists of 11 things about me. It will be interesting for me, coming up with the themes, etc., and it will be interesting for readers, both strangers and friends. Well. It will be at least as interesting as anything else on the blog, and nobody's making you read it, you know.

11 Friends, Listed By A Unique Aspect of Our Relationship

We are sisters, and we hold each other's secrets
We played "Happy Hollisters" in the backyard, and therefore she was the only person who I actually allowed to pull my braids
We wrote "notes" in class to each other that were so long, we started using notebooks and then swapping them at the end of each day
We put together an intricate secret handshake, based in part on Wayne's World skits
We created a correspondence between two fictional characters, Griffin & Sabine style
We wrote the script to the senior year Renaissance dinner show together
We gave our teddy bears matching names, based on ice cream moguls
We developed, but never actually wrote, a comic strip for the college paper about hanging out in the dorm hallway
We came up with an idea for a college TV talk show, titled with our unflattering nicknames, that we seriously considered pursuing
We skipped classes to play Castlevania together
We are getting married to each other this fall


Tuesday, August 16, 2005
 
Post-catering Jammy-Jam
When my friend finally finished his grammatically-required catering gig, he came over along with a few friends. Remember this: Fiancees never drink alone.
Even if your intended is off on a scuba adventure
Even if your intended is off at an out-of-state dress fitting
Fiancees.Never.Drink.Alone.
We drink together! FUN!
Friday night fun makes the weekend last longer. Good thing, too - it took most of Saturday to get over it.


Friday, August 12, 2005
 
True friendship means never having to say you're sorry
It also means you still come over for drinks after I send you this IM:

also, your grammatical error just employed you as [Rob] Schneider's caterer.


Thursday, August 11, 2005
 
Two wrongs DO make a right!
If there's one quote that would entice me into watching The Surreal Life, it's this:

Janice Dickison, on co-reality star Omarosa:
...it's extraordinary fun pissing her off.


Monday, August 08, 2005
 
Since when does The New Yorker carry Deep Thoughts?
Since August 2005, apparently.


Thursday, August 04, 2005
 
All Morning Editions Considered
We received a coffee maker as a wedding present! It arrived last night! It has a timer!
All these things mean that I was more alert on my drive to work, and had my own thoughts about what NPR was saying on the radio, rather than just taking it in.

EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION You know, it never crossed my mind to find out my OB's opinion on abortion rights, but I guess it's pretty damn important to know that kind of thing. Luckily, I have a good idea about her opinion, since she mentioned at several points in my visit that I should contact her if I ever need emergency contraception. Yeah, mentioned it almost too often.

AIRPLANE SAFETY There was a piece on the Toronto plane that was on fire, etc., and they were talking about improvements in airplane safety, and I came up with this cool idea: Regular people could get trained in airplane safety, the way you get trained in first aid or CPR. You take a several-hour course at the local YMCA, and you get a little card, good for whatever, 3-5 years or so. If nothing else, the card gives you preferred status for the Emergency Exit seats on the plane (more leg room!). Maybe some airlines would give a slight discount on tickets, too. These courses could be developed and taught by former flight attendants, and the equipment used in the class could include an actual airplane exit door - that would be cool. The inflatable slide would be even cooler, but I don't think that's practical.


 
Definitions

It doesn't matter whether you are doing it with or without irony.
It doesn't matter what you are driving, even if it is a classic Mercedes convertible.
It is enough that you are a man
who is using a headband to pull his hair out of his eyes
to define you as a douchebag.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005
 
Open Letter of Apology
Last night I had a dream that I was rude to a houseguest. Let me first say, before going into particulars, that my dreams tend to be very realistic, and very mundane. Sometimes I just dream about starting my day, and wake up suprised I'm not dressed for work yet. So please understand that the most titillating part of this post is the word "titillating". It's all downhill from here.

Open Letter of Apology to Bryan Adams

Dear Mr. Adams,
I am so sorry that I was rude to you when your family came for a weekend visit with my family.* I should have been more friendly and hospitable when everyone was sitting around in the living room, rather than ignoring folks. I especially feel bad because you barely seemed to notice, and you were very nice the whole time, especially when you started a conversation with me on the front walk. It made me regret my behavior, and I recall dearly wishing we could start over, because I just wasn't being myself. Seriously, I'm a pleasant person, usually.
Anyway, good luck with the thesis and the wedding planning.
Cheers,
JJ

*In the dream I had last night.


 
Oh, so that's how I do that.

71. How to freshen stale nuts.

Stick them in the oven for 15 minutes at 250 degrees.

The rest is here. (via)


Monday, August 01, 2005
 
I have no words of my own


It's like the bumper stickers say: If you aren't outraged, you haven't been paying attention.

It's like Reverend Lovejoy's wife says: Won't somebody think of the children?